The Top 10 Indicators That You’re Too Tired and You Should Just Go Back in Your Hole, Lie Down and Take a Little Nappy

So maybe by now I shouldn’t be surprised that part of this whole grad student thing involves a whole lot of studying without sleep sometimes.  Heck, my undergrad involved quite a bit of that, too – I mean, after all, I have a degree in Greek, for crying out loud.  You know I wasn’t sleeping eight hours every night while I was studying the complex notion of the deponent verb and its cognate relationship within the Doric structure.  But there are times (like last night) when 3:30 or 4 am rolls around and I think about the upcoming schedule for the week and wonder just exactly how I’m going to catch up – not on the work, ‘cause I know that’ll get done, but I just don’t foresee myself putting in an eight hour night of sleep this week.  I mean, come on, to be honest I don’t know if I see myself putting in a six hour night of sleep...  Somehow, though, it doesn’t bother me too much... right now.

I have however been the subject of a lot of chiggles (that’s a combination of the chuckle and the giggle, and way more fun than either one is alone) this morning – both my own chiggles and those of other people.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes I like to stage my own little comedy show.  I like to call it “Jaye-O-Rama,” and when I’m in top form, I’ll trot out everything short of a dog and a pony just to keep the yucks a-rollin’ on in.  And then there are some days – like today – when I kind of just stumble into a comedy routine that is no less brilliant but completely unplanned.  It’s mostly the product of little or no sleep, an overload of information input, ADHD, shiney object syndrome (if you don’t have it or don’t know someone who does, don’t expect me to explain it in the space of a tweet), and bouncy, bouncy synapses.

So, almost more for my own entertainment than for any other reason, I have put together a list of crystal clear indicators that should act like neon LED arrow indicators to light the path back to an over stimulated person’s bed after a loooooong night of studying.

Without further adieu, I give you:

The Top 10 Indicators That You’re Too Tired and You Should Just Go Back in Your Hole, Lie Down and Take a Little Nappy

10.   The only thing that you can find in your room anymore is your stapler.  You’re really not even quite sure where your bed is.

9.   You ate breakfast this morning.  No wait, you ate breakfast yesterday morning.  No wait, you did eat breakfast this morning because this morning was yesterday morning.  No wait,  did you eat...

8.   You ran into a friend in the library who told you that you looked like you were walking a little funny and you had to ask her, “Was I just walking?  I wasn’t walking, I was just standing there for a moment.”

7.   Heather at Student Accounting asks you for your student ID number and you ask her what your name is.

6.   When you’re telling the group of undergrad girls whom you lead in a weekly Bible study what passage you’ll be looking at today, all you can remember is that it’s, “One of those ones in John, you know, in the Bible, about God.”

5.     You stumbled up to the counter at the White Horse to get a cup of coffee and before you could even tell them what you wanted, they were like, “Ooooh, you want coffee, don’t you?”

4.   When you answered the White Horse people with a barely intelligible, “Yuugghhhuuhhggg...”  They were like, “Oh, no, you need something more than coffee.”

3.   You’re at seminary and you’re having problems remembering how to spell the word “theologian.”

2.   You’re sitting in your room right now making this wackafrass list, hopped up on the macchiato goofballs that the White Horse people made for you instead of taking the nappy that you know you should be taking because you still have other meetings that you need to go to for the rest of the day.

1.   When you made an appointment to meet with Dr. Magary and chat about Hebrew, you made it for 19 January instead of 19 April, and then, in a moment of panic over how little sleep you’d gotten last night, you sent him an email this morning trying to cancel the appointment you didn’t have with him this afternoon because even though you just made it last Thursday, you really made it for, like, almost last year.  Nice.  You’re really thankful he has a sense of humour.

These are signs of severe exhaustion – not insanity.  REALLY...  I am not insane, just tired.  Should you exhibit them too, just feel free to wave your White Horse macchiato around violently at... no, maybe that does look crazy.  Maybe T-shirts that say, “I’m a Theologan and it’s Finals Time!”  I don’t know.  What are ways you let people know you’re suffering from too little sleep and are a little slap-happy?  Or do you let them know?  Do you just take it on the chin and burn the midnight oil in silence?  Any advice would be helpful... or maybe just a bigger blanket for my pony, his dogs are barkin'.